it quite often happens. right there in the bathroom of a client's office. i hear the music of mumford and sons (on a small weary alarm clock radio thing from the early to mid 1990's sorta hidden behind a generic looking dusty fake plant from the same era)

 i totally broke the toilet seat. one side cracked in half. now that side pinches your ass if you sit on it. weak. this sucks. what do i do. help. i can't take this anymore. where is mister hankey.

 put yourself into my shoes

 one of my most vivid memories from my years as a boy scout was when these kids had deliberately flushed a bunch of catfish down the camp latrine .. when the scoutmaster found out he dutifully pumped the catfish out of the latrine as he yelled and yelled